The 'dating' rituals...

THIS is something I know NOTHING about... maybe someone can enlighten me...

In the 'old country' there is no such thing as 'dating'... You become a teenager...a boy likes you... you like him... that's your boyfriend from that moment on... God forbid you are seen with anyone else... No matter what age! You are labeled a 'lose woman' forever... (j/k!)

So, you can imagine when I came here at age 14... I had NO IDEA what 'dating' meant... I had a total of 2 'boyfriends' before I was 17...when I met my first husband...

My sister and I were waiting for the bus after school when this girl we knew from class says "Oh, don't take the bus...my brother is picking me up in his car...we can take you home"... Sure enough, shortly after this tall, skinny, long-hair boy shows up driving a pretty nice car... we hop in the back and start fighting who's gonna end up with him... Since I was the oldest...I was the 'lucky' one! My sister, till this day, thanks the Lord for that!!!

We instantly became 'boyfriend and girlfriend'... I was not allowed to go out with him by ourselves... so he had to come to our house if he wanted to see me... until we got married a year and a half later...

Years later, after we divorced... I was faced with the dating dilemma...

My mind is NOT wired to go out with someone one day, then accept another invitation by someone else... I was bought up to have a 'boyfriend'... Go out with him, enjoy his company, learn all there is to know about him, and then decide what comes next...

So off I went on my first 'date' at that time... I REALLY liked the guy... I THOUGHT we had a great time...he bought roses... took me to a very good restaurant for dinner...and then we went dancing... Perfect, right?

Wrong!!! I didn't know the 'rules'... I thought 'Hey, I'm gonna call him to say I had a great time...and hope he asks me out again'... wrong again!!! He took that as being God knows what and we never went out again...

So I had to tumble and fall a few times before I was told by a couple of American girlfriends about the 'dating rituals'...

I had no idea you were NOT supposed to call the guy!!! That you were supposed to wait by the phone for days on end to see if HE decided to call YOU...

I learned that most of them fall into some big, black "I don't want to date her" hole never to be seen or heard from again!!! THIS is what 'dating' is all about??? Well, I don't like it and I'm not gonna take it anymore...

That has been my motto since... I accept an invitation... we go out... we have fun...end of date!

If the guy doesn't follow up with a call in LESS than 3 days...he's history...I don't care how much I like him... he's not gentleman enough for me... and if he's like that while we're dating... I can just imagine in the future...

Fast forward to today...at this age I'm at right now... (which of course I will NOT divulge here!) it's NOT getting any better...

Now, when you meet someone... (this has happened so many times it's funny if it wasn't sad!) the first thing out of their mouths is "Who do you live with?"... I say "By myself, of course...the kids are on their own...they have their families, etc"...

Want to know what comes next? "Oh, then... why don't you cook me dinner at YOUR house?"...

WHAT is wrong with MEN these days? What has happened to taking the girl out for dinner, or a drink, or even an ice cream cone? Does ANYBODY do that anymore? Or has everyone become so jaded that they just go straight for the 'kill' without even getting to know the person?

The last man that asked me that...just a few weeks ago... is still thinking about what he did wrong... 'cause apparently in his mind there is nothing wrong about suggesting going over the girl's house for dinner and drinks...

But do men realize that when they suggest that it means that WE have to do the cooking and the serving and SPENDING the money to do it?!??!

I don't want someone to 'support' me... I'm very easygoing... I don't want anyone to take me out to expensive restaurants for dinner and drinks, etc, etc, etc. They could suggest going out for a stroll at the beach at sunset...to me that is very romantic... we could have a nice conversation and actually get to know each other... Is that such an outdated concept?

I also am a liberated woman and very well employed... I COULD ask the GUY out for a date... a very expensive date if I so wanted to... but that would be STUPID of me...'cause the guy would immediately think I'm DESPERATE and trying to BUY his company... right?

So, after all these years of waiting for my 'Prince charming', my 'Knight in shining armor', a 'Gentleman'... I'm am STILL faced with the dating ritual dilemma...

Although nowadays is not so much a dilemma... You want to come to MY house? Oh, I'm flattered...but no Thanks!!! I'm busy forever!!!